An old post from facebook after my son was born:

New Game: Do I have a serious meth problem or a new baby?

1) I have stopped showing up for work and no one there is surprised.

2) Last night, I went to a pharmacy with someone else’s perscription.  I said my wife was discharged in the middle of the night, I couldn’t go to the bank, and I just want the oxycodon.  Then I became hostile when the validity of my story was questioned.

3) I’ve stopped cooking and cleaning my house.  I only eat because people bring me food.

4) My house is filling up with unusual, partial assembled devices I can’t explain.

5) At least one person in my house has no teeth and is on a liquid diet.

6) At least one person in my house can remember taking oxycodon, but has to think whether they brushed their teeth or not.

7) Morning is no longer determined by the sun, but rather by the time I give up on trying to sleep.

8) I woke up in semi-darkness exhausted to the sound of screaming.  I saw the clock said 7:34, but I didn’t know if it was AM or PM or what day it was.  The answer to any of those questions wasn’t good.

9) I walked outside my house today and noticed a poop stain on the back of my hand.  I was pretty sure it wasn’t mine, but I wasn’t certain when it happened.  I decided I didn’t care and I’d wipe it off later.

‎10) There is also a guy living in my house that I just met 4 days ago.  He doesn’t talk, but stares at the ceiling like he has never seen lights before and he is suspicious of them.